Meg vs. 30: Thoughts on failure and success

It happened. I turned 30. And as you can observe if you click on my tab, I came up short on my 30 goals for myself, and only finished about 2/3 of them. My normal self would say, "Why, that is 66%, which is a D." But with all the other stress going on (I have been on the phone all morning trying to get people over to the house to get things fixed for the tenants, while in the meantime my children run amok and my house is still 1/3 in boxes), I am rethinking how I will define success on my goals.

It was a success for me to put my goals out for other people to see when I came up short.

It was a success that I often chose to throw my efforts into supporting my husband and spending time with my kids instead of compulsively following through on everything I had wanted to get done.

It was a success that I survived a year where we had a baby, finished renovating a house, and moved several hundred miles, and still made sushi and rode not one but two horses.

And it was a success that I realized that next time I should try to make myself have more fun instead of pushing myself to "achieve" more. I already stress out over what I am an am not accomplishing. In my 20's I served a mission for a year and a half. I learned Japanese and spent summers with my grandmother just like I wanted to. I got two degrees and my husband got one and is in the midst of another. We got married, had three kids (who, I might add, are still surviving our parenting), and bought a house which we renovated and turned into a rental. Why should I feel like what I'm doing isn't enough? I need to push myself to do more to enjoy life! So my 40x40 list (which I already started compiling a while back, because that's how I am) will hopefully be a lot more fun and less stressful.

So here is to failure, and more successes like this:

Meg vs. Books: Recent Reads and The '13 List

As you can see in the navigation bar, I started a book list. Last year I started trying to document all of the books I have read. I hate that I can't remember them all, and even forget the plot and the things that touched me. I want to go back and reread some that I know I liked but only vaguely remember, but then there are so many books I still want to read! And I try to stick to the classics because there are so many of them, they are tried and tested, and I hate starting a book and then realizing I'm not going to get much out of it or it isn't appropriate. I love looking at the list and thinking about the books and the different things I got out of each of them. I am such a nerd.

Once I start a book I get wrapped up and have a hard time putting it down (right now my rule, with few exceptions, is that I leave the book in the baby's room and I try to limit myself to reading only while he is nursing. But he has a long, sleepy nursing session every night so I have been doing a surprising amount of reading). I am always tempted to join a book club, but then I don't want to have to read something I can't jump heart and soul into.

So just because I feel like it, I am going to start posting a bit about my reading. If you've read it (or even if you haven't) and want to chat about it, I'm all for it! If you have any book suggestions, pass them this way! If you think I have really boring taste in books, I won't be offended! (My sister, for one, and I think most of John's family, think so. I got a lot of remarks asking why on earth I would read War and Peace.)

So far this year I have finished War and Peace, which I can't even begin to describe except that it is epic and amazing and my brain and heart were so filled for days afterwards.

Next I met my goal of reading one book in Japanese by reading Breaking Into Japanese Literature translated by Giles Murray.

It is a collection of Japanese short stories, and on each page there is the Japanese text, a comprehensive vocabulary dictionary, and the English translation. If you think this is a cop-out on reading in Japanese because you have read lots of books in some romance language, I will ignore that criticism. If you are a non-native speakers and have read any literature in its original Japanese or Russian or Chinese without such an aid, you are my hero, and I will readily admit my inferiority. Having all the help right there on the page made the reading really manageable and enjoyable--other attempts have left me drowning in my dictionary and unable to get through anything beyond a sixth grade reading level (when they stop putting superscripts over new words!). The only other book I have read on my own in Japanese is Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, which of course is funny because that was originally written in English. If you have studied or are studying Japanese, I would definitely recommend Murray's compilation. And I just discovered that he has a second book out called Exploring Japanese Literature that has the same format, so that may just go on my book list for the future.

And just tonight I finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. My friend Emily reviewed this book over on Everything for the Love, and I had been itching to read it ever since. So you can imagine my delight when I happened upon it at the thrift store for only $1! I loved this memoir--so much food for thought on so many topics: poverty and distribution of wealth, parenting and discipline, priorities, addiction, mental health issues, love, and more than anything the resilience of the human spirit.

On that same trip I also grabbed Snow Falling on Cedars, which I knew nothing about but recognized the name. I am so excited to read it! WWII-era, historical fiction, murder mystery, Japanese-American history, and courtroom drama? This book must have been written for me. I will let you know if it lives up to my hype.

Meg vs. Inspiration: C.S. Lewis on Homemaking

I love C.S. Lewis, and I am working on loving homemaking, so of course I loved this quote. You can download the printable here.